Substack is for Diary Entries

At least this one will be.

Happy Monday from Los Angeles, where our version of autumn is drizzling rain and sixty-degree weather. For locals, that means we get to cosplay “snow days.” Weekend plans were canceled, writers rooms were moved to Zoom, and everyone collectively decided to become a movie critic.

If this Substack slowly morphs into my personal diary about what I ate, wore, watched, and irrationally cared about, please forgive me. Or don’t. Welcome to the internet.

Eddie Murphy Documentary on Netflix

I loved being reminded of his full legend status — from comedy star to family man. Even when that legend says his favorite TV show is MTV’s Ridiculousness.
It also made me nostalgic for buddy movies, and for being from Beverly Hills, which I forget is objectively funny. (Our sister city is Cannes. Perfect and ridiculous.)

Someone make The Holiday but about sister cities swapping lives. It writes itself.

Favorite quote from the doc

We need more men to be open about wanting to be skinny too.”
Groundbreaking. Brave.

Ways to Catch Up With Friends

Shared Notes App
Erin and I hadn’t been able to really catch up while she was promoting Nobody Wants This. She suggested a shared Notes doc where we just drop quick updates. It’s deeply friend-romantic. Highly recommend.

Spotify
Full disclosure: I learned about Spotify’s direct-message-adjacent feature because my ex and I discovered it during a no-contact situation. Truly humorous at the lengths we will go to chat. If you’re going to break no contact, let it be about a song or a spiritual podcast.

Important flaw: if you post a song to Instagram stories, Spotify will send it to the person and make it look like you’re DM’ing them. Chaotic energy.

Eat This Playlist
Remember the Nokia Snake game? Spotify apparently does. When you send someone a playlist, you now tell them to “eat this.” I thought it was Gen Z slang but no, it’s product language. And I respect it.

Make Your Own Cover Art
You can design custom playlist covers now. I don’t need it but if you make a cute one, send it to me.

Self Help I Have Actually Done

It’s Not Your Money

I realized I’ve never had a healthy relationship with money. I grew up without it, earned it, lost track of it, and somehow sold HelloGiggles while having terrible credit. (Part of it was a demonic GAP card. More on that another time.)

My friend Aura recommended this book, six weeks of light assignments that are more “prepare for abundance” than Marie Kondo. My takeaways:

The G-d Box
Whenever you have a fear or spiral, write it down and put it in the box. Money anxiety, friend anxiety, hot-take anxiety, all of it goes in. It works disturbingly well.

Appreciate What You Have
I know this sounds basic, but when you’re in scarcity mode, it’s the hardest thing. I’ve started appreciating tiny things, like “I can spend 7.88 on a coffee.” (Sorry, Ricky. I can hear you being furious at me.)

The author tells a lot of stories about how money flows to you when you’re open. Case in point: my friend Keri mentioned a website where you can search for unclaimed property in California. I assumed it was a scam. It wasn’t. I found over $1,000 waiting for me.
Check for your own and report back.

Retreat Girlies

I’m coining this term: Retreat Girlies. The women who have done enough retreats that they can lead an icebreaker at any moment, know their “rose and thorn,” and radiate Yes Energy.

My two Retreat Girlies (Simon and Lauren) dragged me to a dance class in Frogtown in the pouring rain at 8:30 PM. It was camp. It was earnest. It was beautiful. Called @movespurejoy Going again this Thursday.

If you have a Retreat Girlie in your life, let her boss you around.

Beauty Tip

When you go to a med spa, they ask what your skin issues are: texture, pigment, hydration. I never know how to answer. What I do know is this:
Do not get treatments from someone who looks objectively crazy or is in West Hollywood.

I had a traumatic experience where a woman with huge lips that was either 28 or 48 told me I needed over 67 units of botox if I wanted to be “snatched” and when I pushed back she basically was like “Sure, if you want to be ugly.” And then when I complained the woman in the office made instagram reel about how clients don’t listen . Also, no one has perfected lips so just do it. Lip flip or not. But anyway I’m all about skin coloring now. And getting rid of my dark spots and I still don’t understand texture so thats my focus skin coloring. Anyway, it’s fake winter in LA and it’s “ laser season.” So get ready for lots of “ im coming to dinner with a red face” post micro needling texts.

Thought of the Week

Ask yourself: who in your friend group could pass the bar exam?
It’s a surprisingly intimate prompt. Mine is my friend Tracy. She did not go to law school. I remain convinced she’d crush it.
If there’s a way to test this for fun, please tell me immediately.